How to Flirt in German – Phrases You Have to Know - LangBox (2023)

Imagine you’ve just spotted your potential soulmate at a club in Munich.

Or you’ve been invited to a mutual friend’s party in Vienna that you’ve been having a crush on for quite some time.

Flirting isn’t really your thing? Do you often struggle for words when you’re nervous?

Don’t worry! I’m here to help.

In this article you’ll learn how to steal a German native speaker’s heart, even if your language skills are rather limited.

But before we get started, let’s first have a look at:

The Dos and Don’ts of Flirting in German

  • be as subtle as possible
  • have a drink together
  • find some common ground
  • give them time to get to know you
  • don’t use any pick-up lines
  • don’t be too pushy or obvious
  • don’t be late for dates
  • don’t forget to call if you promised to

How to Flirt in German – Basic Vocabulary

School is supposed to prepare us for life, isn’t it? Well, I bet that your German teacher never taught you how to start a conversation with the love of your life. Am I right?

I’d like to provide you with some basic flirting vocabulary that you certainly won’t find in your German coursebook.

  • 🇩🇪 lieben 🇺🇸 to love
  • 🇩🇪 mögen – 🇺🇸 to like
  • 🇩🇪 flirten 🇺🇸 to flirt
  • 🇩🇪 jemanden anbaggern 🇺🇸 to hit on sb.
  • 🇩🇪 schmeicheln 🇺🇸 to flatter
  • 🇩🇪 ein Kompliment – 🇺🇸 a compliment
  • 🇩🇪 sich verlieben – 🇺🇸 to fall in love
  • 🇩🇪 verknallt sein 🇺🇸 to be smitten
  • 🇩🇪 gut zusammenpassen 🇺🇸 to be a great match
  • 🇩🇪 miteinander ausgehen 🇺🇸 to go out together
  • 🇩🇪 auf ein Date einladen 🇺🇸 to ask out on a date
  • 🇩🇪 zum Abendessen ausführen 🇺🇸 to take out for dinner
  • 🇩🇪 ein gutaussehender / attraktiver / charmanter Mann 🇺🇸 a handsome / attractive / charming man
  • 🇩🇪 eine hübsche / wunderschöne / bezaubernde Frau 🇺🇸 a pretty / beautiful / charming woman
  • 🇩🇪 eine Schönheit 🇺🇸 a beauty
  • 🇩🇪 ein scharfer Typ – 🇺🇸 a hot guy
  • 🇩🇪 eine heiße Braut 🇺🇸 a hot girl
  • 🇩🇪 Liebe auf dem ersten Blick 🇺🇸 love at first sight
  • 🇩🇪 auf ihn/sie stehen 🇺🇸 to have a crush on him/her
  • 🇩🇪 verrückt nach ihm/ihr sein 🇺🇸 to be crazy about him/her
  • 🇩🇪 Gefühle haben für – 🇺🇸 to have feelings for
  • 🇩🇪 ihm/ihr das Herz brechen 🇺🇸 to break his/her heart
  • 🇩🇪 sich trennen 🇺🇸 to split up
  • 🇩🇪 fester Freund / feste Freundin 🇺🇸 boyfriend / girlfriend
  • 🇩🇪 der Richtige / die Richtige 🇺🇸 Mr. Right / Miss Perfect
  • 🇩🇪 meine bessere Hälfte 🇺🇸 my better half
  • 🇩🇪 mein Seelenverwandter 🇺🇸 my soulmate
  • 🇩🇪 die Liebe meines Lebens 🇺🇸 the love of my life

Flirting in German – Useful Ice Breakers

As I’ve mentioned before, people from Germany or other German-speaking countries usually aren’t great fans of cheesy pick-up lines.

Instead, you should go for a natural conversation with your chosen one by using these German phrases:

🇩🇪 Darf ich dich auf ein Getränk einladen?
🇺🇸 May I buy you a drink?

🇩🇪 Wie gefällt dir die Party?
🇺🇸 How do you like the party?

🇩🇪 Findest du den DJ / die Band gut?
🇺🇸 Do you like the DJ / the band?

🇩🇪 Möchtest du tanzen?
🇺🇸 Would you like to dance?

🇩🇪 Du scheinst wirklich nett zu sein.
🇺🇸 You seem very charming.

🇩🇪 Bist du öfters hier?
🇺🇸 Do you often come to this place?

🇩🇪 Bist du alleine hier?
🇺🇸 Are you here on your own?

So far so good. Now’s the time for some compliments:

🇩🇪 Schöner Anzug / schönes Kleid!
🇺🇸 Nice suit / dress!

🇩🇪 Du hast ein bezauberndes Lächeln.
🇺🇸 You have a beautiful smile.

🇩🇪 Du hast schöne Augen.
🇺🇸 You have beautiful eyes.

🇩🇪 Ich finde deine Frisur toll.
🇺🇸 Your hair looks great.

🇩🇪 Ich mag dich sehr.
🇺🇸 I like you a lot.

Are you ready to make the first move? Here’s what you could ask them:

🇩🇪 Hast du einen Freund / eine Freundin?
🇺🇸 Do you have a boyfriend / girlfriend?

🇩🇪 Kann ich deine Nummer haben?
🇺🇸 Can I have your phone number?

🇩🇪 Bist du auf Instagram / Facebook?
🇺🇸 Do you have an Instagram / Facebook account?

🇩🇪 Darf ich dich um ein Date bitten?
🇺🇸 May I ask you out on a date?

🇩🇪 Darf ich dich mal zum Abendessen ausführen?
🇺🇸 May I take you out for dinner sometime?

How to flirt back in German

That amazing girl or boy you’ve been having an eye on all evening is finally standing in front of you to ask: “Möchtest du mit mir tanzen?”

Don’t chicken out now! There’s plenty of things you can say in this situation:

🇩🇪 Gerne!
🇺🇸 I’d love to!

🇩🇪 Ich dachte schon, du fragst nie!
🇺🇸 I thought you’d never ask.

🇩🇪 Das wollte ich dich auch schon fragen.
🇺🇸 I wanted to ask you that too.

🇩🇪 Gute Idee! Ich liebe diesen Song!
🇺🇸 What a great idea! I love this song!

🇩🇪 Ich bin kein besonders guter Tänzer. Lass uns stattdessen etwas trinken.
🇺🇸 I’m not a great dancer. Let’s have a drink instead.

How to Turn Somebody Down in German

What if you’ve already found your better half, and someone else starts hitting on you? Or if you’re simply not interested?

Then this list of polite German turn-down phrases is for you.

Let’s begin with some useful sentence starters:

🇩🇪 Ich fühle mich geschmeichelt, aber …
🇺🇸 I feel flattered, but …

🇩🇪 Du bist wahnsinnig süß, aber …
🇺🇸 You’re really cute, but …

🇩🇪 Du bist wunderschön, aber …
🇺🇸 You’re very beautiful, but …

🇩🇪 Du bist sehr charmant, aber …
🇺🇸 You’re extremely charming, but …

🇩🇪 Du bist ein echt netter Kerl, aber …
🇺🇸 You’re a really nice guy, but …

And that’s how you can continue:

🇩🇪 … ich habe einen Freund / eine Freundin.
🇺🇸 … I have a boyfriend / a girlfriend.

🇩🇪 … ich bin vergeben.
🇺🇸 … I’m in a relationship.

🇩🇪 … ich bin verlobt.
🇺🇸 … I’m engaged.

🇩🇪 … ich bin verheiratet.
🇺🇸 … I’m married.

🇩🇪 … ich habe mich erst vor kurzem getrennt.
🇺🇸 … I’ve just broken up with somebody.

🇩🇪 … ich treffe mich bereits mit jemanden.
🇺🇸 … I’m seeing someone.

🇩🇪 … du bist leider nicht mein Typ.
🇺🇸 … you’re not my type.

🇩🇪 … ich möchte, dass wir nur Freunde sind.
🇺🇸 … I only like you as a friend.

🇩🇪 … du bist wie ein Bruder für mich.
🇺🇸 … you’re like a brother to me.

🇩🇪 … ich fühle nicht dasselbe für dich.
🇺🇸 … I don’t feel the same way about you.

🇩🇪 … ich stehe nicht auf Männer / Frauen.
🇺🇸 … I’m not into guys /girls.

🇩🇪 … du bist viel zu jung für mich.
🇺🇸 … you’re way too young for me.

🇩🇪 … ich bin nicht interessiert.
🇺🇸 … I’m not interested.

Some guys just can’t accept a “no”. To get rid of them, you’d better pick one of these less polite rejections:

🇩🇪 Ich möchte nicht mit dir sprechen.
🇺🇸 I don’t want to talk to you.

🇩🇪 Lass mich in Ruhe!
🇺🇸 Leave me alone!

🇩🇪 Hör auf mich zu belästigen!
🇺🇸 Stop bothering me!

🇩🇪 Hör auf mich zu verfolgen!
🇺🇸 Stop following me!

🇩🇪 Verschwinde!
🇺🇸 Get lost!

Examples of Real-Life Flirting in German

Now that you’re familiar with the most important vocabulary and phrases, it’s time to check out these more or less successful flirting attempts in German.

A: Darf ich dich auf ein Getränk einladen?
B: Nein, danke. Ich warte auf meine Freundin.
A: May I buy you a drink?
B: No, thanks. I’m waiting for my girlfriend.

A: Bist du öfters hier?
B: Nein, ich bin heute das erste Mal hier.
A: Wie gefällt dir die Musik?
B: Ich finde den DJ richtig gut!
A: Möchtest du tanzen?
B: Gerne!
A: Do you come here a lot?
B: No, today’s my first time.
A: How do you like the music?
B: I think the DJ’s great!
A: Would you like to dance?
B: Sure!

A: Ich mag dich wirklich sehr.
B: Du bist echt nett, aber ich stehe nicht auf Männer.
A: I like you a lot.
B: You’re really nice, but I’m not into guys.

A: Kann ich deine Nummer haben?
B: Verschwinde! Ich habe schon tausend Mal nein gesagt.
A: Can I have your telephone number?
B: Get lost! I’ve said no like a thousand times.

Ouch! I guess the last two won’t live happily ever after…


How do German people flirt? ›

Flirting In German: It's All In The Eyes

It just means sexy eye contact could involve a little more “innuendo” than usual. This does not mean it'll necessarily be accompanied by a smile, or that you'll be invited with a lingering gaze. A favorite move when flirting in German is the “look, but then quickly look away.”

How do Germans express love? ›

Unlike other languages, the German expression “Ich liebe dich” is almost exclusively used in romantic relationships. Nevertheless, Germans like to express their love for their friends and family too. In most cases, they say “Ich hab' dich lieb,” which could be translated as “I have love for you.”

Do Germans know how do you flirt? ›

Germans might be famous for many things, but their flirting skills are not on that list. If you're trying to flirt with them, chances are they won't realise it since they tend to be reserved.

What are handy phrases in German? ›

10 common German phrases: the basics
  • Hallo (Hello)
  • Tschüss (Bye)
  • Bitte (Please)
  • Danke (Thanks)
  • Entschuldigung (Excuse me)
  • Sorry (Sorry)
  • Formal: Können Sie mir helfen?; informal: Kannst du mir helfen? (Can you help me?)
  • Formal: Sprechen Sie English?; informal: In Sprichst du Englisch? (Do you speak English?)
Mar 12, 2022

How to flatter a German girl? ›

Compliments In German
  1. You are sweet! — Du bist süß!
  2. You have beautiful eyes. — Du hast schöne Augen.
  3. You are very nice. — Du bist sehr sympathisch.
  4. I love your smile, it's so charming. ...
  5. I like your new haircut. ...
  6. I like this color, it really suits you! ...
  7. I knew you would succeed! ...
  8. I was sure you would pass the exam.
Dec 3, 2021

Do you kiss cheeks in Germany? ›

The most common greeting is a handshake with direct eye contact. Men usually greet women first and wait for them to extend their hand. Close friends may hug to greet and younger people may kiss one another on the cheek. "Guten Tag" (Good day) or “Hallo” (Hello) are the most common verbal greetings used in Germany.

How can I impress a German person? ›

Still, there may be some things about your friend's next dinner party that will surprise you, so here's a brief heads up about what to expect.
  1. Gifts are definitely Willkommen.
  2. Greet the German way.
  3. 3. ' Keep your hands where we can see 'em'
  4. Don't forget to make eye contact.
  5. Knowing when it's time to dig in.
May 24, 2016

How do Germans feel about touch? ›

Physical Contact: People tend not to touch one another very much during communication unless they are close friends. Touching someone on the shoulder or arm to emphasise a point is generally acceptable, but can otherwise be seen as a sexual advance.

Do the Germans like eye contact? ›

Eye contact is expected and respected in Germany. Uninterrupted eye contact can be awkward for those not used to such etiquette and misinterpreted as staring. However, it shows attention and interest in a conversation.

What is considered rude to Germans? ›

Germans are extremely punctual and well-mannered. Showing up late, losing your cool, or raising your voice are all considered rude and thoughtless. If you step out of line, don't be surprised or offended if someone corrects your behavior, as this is very common in the German culture.

Do Germans like to stare? ›

In Germany, intense eye contact is a daily occurrence – to such an extend that expats and visitors have dubbed it “The Germanic Stare Down.” German pedestrians also use it to communicate, and the right amount of eye contact at the right time can mean “I am walking here, and it's not my fault if you don't move over and ...

What is amazing German slang? ›

General German slang phrases
German slang phraseGerman pronunciationEnglish meaning
Jein[jaɪ̯n]Yes and no
Moin (Northern)[mɔɪ̯n]Hello
Moinsen (Northern)[mɔɪ̯nzn̩]Hello
16 more rows
Feb 17, 2022

Do German girls kiss on first date? ›

Go on a First Date: drinks, sometimes dinner, an event, whatever. A kiss or three is expected if both have a good time. If one/both did NOT have a good time (or if it fails to develop into a romantic spark), they will often never see each other again.

How do you tell a German girl you like her? ›

If you must, here are a couple phrases that might come in handy:
  1. Ich mag dich. — I like you.
  2. Du hast schöne Augen. — You have beautiful eyes.
  3. Ich liebe dein Lächeln, es ist so charmant. — I love your smile, it's so charming.
  4. Du tanzt gut! — You dance well!
  5. Du siehst gut aus! ...
  6. Du bist schön. ...
  7. Ich finde dich sehr attraktiv.
Feb 11, 2022

How do you say sassy girl in German? ›

sassy girl {noun}

Kratzbürste {f} [coll.]

What is butterfly kiss? ›

: the act or an instance of fluttering one's eyelashes against another person's skin. "… I've invented a new way of kissing. You do it with your eye-lashes." "I've known that for years. It's called a butterfly kiss." Evelyn Waugh.

What does 3 kisses in a row mean? ›

Three kisses in a row is a new type of kiss that a person in love gives to the one they love. These kisses are short ones that come one after the other. If they give you these magical three kisses, one after the other, they want to make sure that you know that they love you.

Is it OK to kiss in public in Germany? ›

In Germany you will probably see couples holding hands or kissing openly on the streets. Do not feel uncomfortable or angry about this as it is considered normal.

How do Germans show respect? ›

A quick, firm handshake is the traditional greeting. Titles are very important and denote respect. Use a person's title and their surname until invited to use their first name. You should say Herr or Frau and the person's title and their surname.

Do Germans take compliments? ›

No matter if you are trying to make friends or are flirting with someone, complimenting someone's appearance is always a nice thing to do and just like anyone else, any German likes being told that they're beautiful.

What makes Germans happy? ›

Happiness in Germany has largely increased due to better life evaluations from its citizens, with financial security and social stability playing a big part in this. The survey found that, until recently, Germans were largely happy with their government's response to the pandemic.

How do Germans distinguish between friend and girlfriend? ›

All of these relationships are expressed by the same word Freund for a male friend/boyfriend and Freundin for female friend/girlfriend.

Do German guys ask you out? ›

Oftentimes, they don't explicitly ask you out on a date but rather phrase it like “do you want to go for coffee sometime?” so it becomes hard to tell what their intention is. Furthermore, many Germans like to keep their distance until they get to know you better, so it may be best not to get too personal too quickly.

How do you get German people to like you? ›

3 Tips To Make German Friends
  1. Learn The German Language. Germans are more receptive to foreigners when they make an effort to speak German. ...
  2. Be Patient When Making Friends In Germany. Germans need time to warm up to new people. ...
  3. Stick To Your Word. One of the main foundations of friendship for Germans is trust.
May 13, 2022

What does 3 fingers mean in German? ›

The “Thumbs Up” Sign

In one particular scene, a spy who's posing as a German soldier in a bar gives himself away by holding up his three middle fingers when asking for three glasses. A German would have shown the number three by holding up their index and middle fingers alongside their thumb.

What do Germans like talking about? ›

When it comes to small talk, Germans rarely chat about personal matters at first. Instead, they focus on sports, traveling, movies or cooking. You should avoid potentially controversial topics like politics or religion, reserving them for good friends only.

What is the taboo gesture in Germany? ›

Making hands into two fists, thumbs tucked inside the other fingers and making pounding motion lightly on a surface expresses "good luck." Never use the "okay" sign (index finger and thumb jointed together to make a circle). This is considered a rude gesture. Don't point your index finger to your own head.

What does thumbs up mean in Germany? ›

Body Language

Germans may appear reserved and unfriendly until you get to know them better. Never put your hands in your pockets when talking with someone. "Thumbs up" gesture means "one" or is a sign of appreciation or agreement.

What physical features are Germans known for? ›

Physical characteristics of German people include light complexions, above average heights, square jaws, and sharp facial features. The stereotypical character traits most associated with German people include their efficiency, punctuality, desire for order, using very few words, and having no sense of humor.

What is a famous German swear word? ›

German Curse Words and How to Use Them
  • Quatsch!
  • Scheiße!
  • Du Arschloch!
  • Halt die Fresse!
  • Donnerwetter!
  • Depp!
  • Verdammt.
  • Der Mist.

What to wear in Germany to not look like a tourist? ›

Try to avoid garish, overly bright colors and prints. Germans like to keep their look understated and toned down. (Unless that's your style, in which case go wild!) Avoid wearing sweatpants or activewear when visiting the main cities.

Is Germany friendly to American tourists? ›

Germans are very welcoming, so it's not uncommon for a tourist to be invited into a German home. If this happens, its important to show gratitude with a small gift such as flowers, wine or candy. It's also common to remove shoes upon entering a German home, and often there are guest slippers available.

Do Germans love nature? ›

Germans have always been romantic nature enthusiasts, passionately attached to the land they live on. Their love of nature expresses itself in physical as well as literary form: in hiking and camping, the nation's most popular sports. They're actually more than mere "sports" in fact.

Why is Germany so attractive to immigrants? ›

Good jobs and salaries, a clean environment, low crime rates, lots of leisure-time and cultural attractions, good public transport – that what makes Germany so attractive for foreigners. People migrate to Germany because of many reasons, but probably the most important ones are strong economic and welfare system.

What is the best filler word? ›

Filler words are also known as vocal disfluencies or hesitations. The most common filler words in speech are like "um", "ah," "like", and "you know." The most common filler phrases in writing are "Needless to say," "in my humble opinion," "for what it's worth," "basically," and "simply."

What is the longest singular German word? ›

So the longest word to be found in the German dictionary is Kraftfahrzeughaftpflichtversicherung – "motor vehicle indemnity insurance". As Mark Twain said "a word so long it has a perspective".

What is a funny German long word? ›

Kraftfahrzeug-Haftpflichtversicherung (36)

Officially recognised by the Duden - Germany's pre-eminent dictionary - as the longest word in German, Kraftfahrzeug-Haftpflichtversicherung is a 36-letter, tongue-tying way of describing a rather, mundane everyday concept: motor vehicle liability insurance.

What is German slang for hottie? ›

hottie {noun}

heiße Braut {f} [coll.] heißer Feger {m} [coll.]

What is the 1 word order in German? ›

In regular German word order, German follows the rule of Subject - Verb - Object, which means, the subject usually comes first, then the verb describing what the subject is doing, then the object that is being "verbed". This is the same in English.

What is the most aggressive German word? ›

1. Quatsch! Pronounced like “Kvatch,” this is one of the more commonly used terms when showing your angry side.

What is the hardest German word? ›

1. Eichhörnchen (Squirrel) Although squirrel is also tough to pronounce in English, it's a classic when it comes to difficult German words to pronounce. Many English speakers struggle, and some even consider this the hardest German word to pronounce.

Are Germans touchy feely people? ›

Germans are, as a whole, not especially touchy-feely type people, so the lack of intimate physical touch also functions as a bonus lifehack of living and working in Germany. Organize yourself and pay attention to details.

What is a German kiss? ›

Any guesses? Here's the answer... This weekend, a French friend told me that a German kiss is basically a French kiss but you swirl your tongue around in circles. Have you ever heard of that bad boy before? Have you done it?

Do Germans prefer eye contact? ›

In Germany, it's considered polite to maintain eye contact almost all the time while talking to another person. This is especially important during business meetings. Eye contact is a sign of attentiveness, and you don't need to be afraid of threatening someone with this.

What is rainbow kiss? ›

Noun. rainbow kiss (plural rainbow kisses) (sexology, vulgar) The act of someone performing oral sex on a woman during her menstrual period while also simultaneously receiving oral sex from her, followed by a kiss where male ejaculate and menstrual fluid are exchanged via kissing, then usually swallowed.

What is a bread kiss? ›

Noun. The kissing crust is the edge on a loaf of bread where it has touched another loaf in baking.

What does it mean when a German stares at you? ›

In Germany, intense eye contact is a daily occurrence – to such an extend that expats and visitors have dubbed it “The Germanic Stare Down.” German pedestrians also use it to communicate, and the right amount of eye contact at the right time can mean “I am walking here, and it's not my fault if you don't move over and ...


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